Thanksgiving is a time when many of us celebrate the abundance of the Earth and the love of family and friends.
For some, however, the holiday may be a struggle. Perhaps financial stresses, a family illness, a breakup, or the loss of a loved one has made it harder to adopt an "attitude of gratitude."
And then, guilt may set in with a thought like this: "So much starvation and disease in the world, yet I'm sad about my own trivial First World problems? I ought to feel grateful, but I'm not. What's wrong with me?"
One frequent piece of advice is to make a daily habit is to sit down and write all the things one is grateful for. That's great, but I'm not giving that advice. I won't fault you because you didn't find the time, because you hit the snooze button instead. Or if you find it insincere, forced, or repetitive. You write down you're "grateful" for your car, but you actually want a new car, indicating the car you have is somehow inadequate.
"Counting your blessings" might, in that way, be a form of "forced positivity" that only reminds you of what you still don't have.
Well, I say it's good to want more. And if you're sad because of what you lack, and don't feel like forcing yourself into gratitude, I say, don't even try. You don't need to count your blessings to feel good. Sometimes it's best not to think at all.
I haven't studied Zen, but I like this observation from Alan Watts: "Zen... does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes."
Borrowing that phrase, I say, "Gratitude isn't thinking about God's abundance and generosity while eating mashed potatoes and gravy, gratitude is enjoying the mashed potatoes and gravy."
In other words, gratitude isn't an obligation, it's just another word for enjoyment or love. And it's all in the act. You don't have to say, "I'm grateful to God for mashed potatoes" or even "I enjoy mashed potatoes." If you're feeling good while eating mashed potatoes, that's where you want to be. Likewise, when you're shouting "Go,Go!" when Tony Pollard flies by the first down marker, you don't have to say, "Thank you, God, for the Dallas Cowboys," or "I love the Dallas Cowboys." You're expressing your gratitude for the Cowboys, and for football, in the cheering.
Whatever is fun, whatever is exciting, whatever is delicious, whatever makes you feel good: those experiences are what we're after. When a person or experience makes you smile, you achieve a feeling that is the equivalent of gratitude.
What you enjoy, you are thankful for.
Happy Thanksgiving!
James Leroy Wilson writes from Nebraska. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. If you enjoy his articles, subscribe and exchange value for value. You may contact James for your writing, editing, and research needs: jamesleroywilson-at-gmail.com. Permission to reprint is granted with attribution.
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