Some of these remarks were spoken at a family reunion this past summer, during a time to honor departed members of the extended family. I had thought about turning them into an essay, and now is the right time.
A friend and spiritual mentor, whom I've known for just over three years, passed on this week after an illness. Toni was 74.
Whenever a friend, family member, or admired celebrity makes their transition, I'm reminded of Jake Brewer.
I didn't know Jake Brewer. He was senior technology advisor to President Obama. He was also a competitive triathlete, and had been a college national champion in the run-bike duathlon.
On September 19, 2015, Jake was in a charity bicycle race. He lost control of his bike on a sharp curve and was hit by an oncoming vehicle. He died from the injuries.
Jake left behind a two year-old daughter, and a wife who was in her third trimester with their second daughter.
His wife was the political commentator Mary Katherine Ham. As she later explained to Alison Rosen, she thought about how healthy he was, how experienced and skilled a rider he was, and how he had trained others in accident mitigation. His dying in a bicycle race was so unlikely that it gave her a sense of peace: That was it; the man had 34 years.
She posted on Instagram:
"I will strive and pray not to feel I was cheated of many years with him, but cherish the gift of the years I had with him."
Mary's insight helped give her the strength to be there for her daughters during a time of sorrow. She remarried in 2020 and gave birth to her third daughter just last week.
Mary's words have helped me. I lost a brother to cancer in 2018. Some members of my extended family have departed as well. As have several friends, some of whom I only knew online. Some passed on after a lengthy illness, while others went unexpectedly.
We don't know the reason people depart this physical plane when they do. But when it's their time, it's their time. Jake Brewer had 34 years. My friend Toni had 74. We don't know when the time will come for anyone, so I might as well cherish each life, each person, as the gift that they are. And when they are gone, I can cherish memories of them.
I am reminded of a famous tweet ultimately credited to Dean Podesta. It was originally posted before David Bowie passed on, then spread like wildfire after he did.
“If you’re ever sad, just remember the world is 4.543 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie.”
I may feel sad that Toni's no longer physically with us, but then I can remember that the world is billions of years old and I somehow managed to exist at the same time as Toni.
James Leroy Wilson writes from Nebraska. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. If you enjoy his articles, subscribe and exchange value for value. You may contact James for your writing, editing, and research needs: jamesleroywilson-at-gmail.com. Permission to reprint is granted with attribution.
For sports-only content, subscribe to The MVP Chase.