The Long Con
Compassion and kindness
July 6 is the birthday of Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dala Lama. He once wrote,
We humans have existed in our present form for about a hundred thousand years. I believe that if during this time the human mind had been primarily controlled by anger and hatred, our overall population would have decreased. But today, despite all our wars, we find that the human population is greater than ever. This clearly indicates to me that love and compassion predominate in the world. And this is why unpleasant events are 'news'; compassionate activities are so much a part of daily life that they are taken for granted and , therefore, largely ignored.
On the final episode of Renee Colvert's My Pandemic Makeover Spectacular! podcast, she discusses kindness with Cait Moldenhauer. Throughout her life, Colvert says she was a "cheerleader," effusive and helpful. Because of that, she’s felt belittled, that she wasn't taken seriously. Moldenhauer agrees that being kind can make one feel like a pushover, but kindness wins.
Being mean and cutthroat, Moldenhauer explains, gets back to you. But it's a pleasure to work with kind people. Kindness may not always pay off in the short term; mean people might get their way. But "in the long game, the long con, you're conning people to be nice to you for the rest of your life."
What the Dalai Lama says about the overall historical trend, and what Cait Moldenhauer says about interpersonal relationships, reflects what I believe is an inner knowing.
People may want prestige, and they want higher incomes. We want to feel good and think these will help. Most of us, however, wouldn't go to war to achieve them, or murder or steal to have them. The risks are too great for ourselves, yes. But also, we don't want to hurt other people because that would make us feel bad.
Sympathy and empathy aren’t moral requirements, they are natural feelings that don’t require religious scripture or philosophical texts to explain. Most of us feel bad when we see others suffer; and feel worse if we know we caused the suffering. That’s what having a conscience means.
And most of us have a conscience. We want to live with each other, not at the expense of each other. A boxing match will have a winner and a loser, but life isn't a zero-sum game. Everyone gains, not when we knock each other down but when we help each other up.
The more one gives, the more one receives even if sometimes the kindness is taken for granted, or the kind person doesn't receive credit. Your kindness will be returned, maybe years later, in surprising ways, by people who remember you.
Overall, helping others be happy is just a happier existence.
The Dalai Lama is right. Everyday kindness and compassion holds the world together.
James Leroy Wilson writes from Nebraska. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. If you enjoy his articles, subscribe and exchange value for value. You may contact James for your writing, editing, and research needs: jamesleroywilson-at-gmail.com. Permission to reprint is granted with attribution.
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